Hey Parents, Leave Those Servers Alone!

This lovely article from the Huffington Post was brought to my attention and I had to share it with you all. As if servers don’t deal with enough bitching, we now have this lady putting thoughts into parent’s ears, telling them to analyze every word a server says to their kid. I find it funny that this article is dedicated solely to servers (the evil tyrants of the world)…why not dedicate it to grandparents or teachers? Being a parent myself, I personally have never had a server say anything like this to my kid, but if they had I wouldn’t have been offended by it.

But, thank you Doctor for telling us all how to do our job…(sigh*)

Hey Servers, Leave Those Kids Alone!

By Katja Rowell MD (aka the feeding doctor)
Guest Contributor: Katherine Zavodni MPH, RD, clinical dietitian specializing in eating disorders

 

Dear Server,

You look really busy. We see that your tables are full, and you may be putting out literal fires back in the kitchen. But if you have a moment, we would love to take a few things off your list of responsibilities.

You don’t have to worry about getting our children to eat veggies, or more or less food. It’s not your job to decide how much our children have to eat before they can “earn” dessert, or if you think they are too skinny or too fat. You don’t have to keep track of any of it!

Please refrain from commenting on what or how much our children are or aren’t eating. A good rule of thumb: if you wouldn’t say it to an adult, don’t say it to a child. Here are some examples of what not to say:

  • “Wow, you ate all your broccoli, that’s so healthy!”
  • “How do you know you don’t like it if you haven’t even tried it?”
  • “Look at you, finishing your whole omelet! Way to go!”
  • “If you finish your plate, I’ll bring you a cookie.”
  • “You really want more rice? Haven’t you had enough?”

Now, here is where you might think we’d go on and on about how we’re the moms, and it’s our job to make our children eat more veggies and control their portions.

But, guess what? It’s not our job either! It’s actually the child’s job to decide how much to eat from what the parent provides. (This is known as the Division of Responsibility in feeding, widely applied by nutrition professionals and agencies.)

By choosing your restaurant and helping our children choose from your menu, we’ve already done our part. Now we’d like to enjoy our meals and the company of our family. Once you bring out the food, maybe check if we need refills or anything else, that’s all we really need. (If you’re up for a little banter about the weather, our kids’ tabletop drawings, or your favorite local theater, that would be more than welcome.)

Oh, and if we ask for dessert with the meal, we mean it. Studies show that bribing kids with dessert often backfires, making them more focused on the sweets and less interested in the other great foods on the table. And if we pass on dessert, you don’t need to convince us they earned it by eating their veggies, or try to talk us into ordering it to go. Dessert with the meal or no dessert — this is a conscious, informed decision on our part — we’re not being bad, mean or lazy parents. What and when we feed our children is our job, eating — including what and how much they decide to eat from what’s on the table — that’s up to the kids. We get that it’s not how most of us grew up, but it’s how we’ve chosen to feed our children (after many years of research and clinical practice).

Read The Rest Of The Article HERE

Source: Hey Servers, Leave Those Kids Alone! (Huffington Post)

Comments