I Can’t Believe You Don’t Provide “To-Go” Orders!

Crystal: Here is a link is to a Yelp review of a restaurant where I live. Sonal B., the person giving the review, is irate the restaurant doesn’t have “to-go” orders. (This is an upscale restaurant that chooses not to). But the best part of the entire thing is the owner’s response on Yelp below her review. If you check out this lady’s other reviews, it’s obvious she’s not very happy most of the time. Enjoy!


Hilarious Yelp Review: “It Ripped Its Way Out Of Me In A Raging Fiery Whirlwind Of Poopy Terror”

An Awesome Yelp Review Of A Delicious Indian Restaurant:


Surprising in many ways!

A dinner at ??????? is an unforgettable experience, not to be missed.
It’s a beautiful restaurant, the food is fantastic, and you’ll be thinking about it long after the meal is over.

We started with the Date & Almond Naan, which was sweet and delicious.

The Butter Chicken, known in some places as Makhni, was tender, moist pieces of dark meat chicken, smothered in a delicious sauce with tomatoes, honey, cardamom, and what I’m assuming was a pound of laxatives.

The Three Greens Saag was wonderful, and not loaded with butter or cream – just fresh and delicious kale, spinach and mustard greens. Hearty, bold and certainly capable of demolishing even the stiffest of constipation.

White dude working the tandoors: you go, sir. The Tandoori Prawns were cooked beautifully, seasoned to perfection, and tore through me with the awesome fury of the horsemen of the apocalypse, Bravo.

The Duck Biryani, a special not on the menu, I would say, is not worth it. It’s two cups of rice and a duck thigh, and we were surprised to discover later that it cost $28. My wife thought it was going to be around $8. My sense of remorse doubled this morning as it ripped its way out of me in a raging fiery whirlwind of poopy terror.

This meal was delectable, exotic, and incinerated everything in my intestines. My morning was an unforgettable thrill ride.

The exotic flavors and aromas of India came flooding back to me as I literally peed out of my butt.

4 stars for the truly delicious food and unimpeachable service, minus one star for expensive biryani, and for turning me into a human flamethrower.

Hilarious Response To A Yelp Review



I live in ******* and really wanted to like this place. But, frankly, it smells. Maybe if you sit outside you can’t smell the nastiness, but inside is gross. It smells like it has been there for 50 years and never been clean, but it is a newer place. Some of the staff look cracked out. Looks like something you’d find a seedy part of town. I will avoid this place in the future. There are plenty of other places in the area to have a better experience.

Meri (a waitress from the restaurant):

Thank you so much for the valuable input. Quick question for you!

Which part made it smell worse? The part where we didn’t serve you any alcohol or the part where you harassed the female staff by exposing your chest hair in lieu of showing your ID? Next time you want a Miller Lite, please bring the appropriate ID that is required when you go to a bar and we’ll gladly serve you.